We all have the kind of days where nothing goes right. Everything you try to work on takes twice as long as usual, the computer crashes before you have saved what you were writing, your Internet quits while you are updating files, etc…

Recently I spent over an hour working on a theme I was creating and got nowhere. By the end of the hour, I replaced everything I had done with the original files and it felt like a wasted hour. When I went back to that project a day or two later, everything was fine and I finished the work quickly.

I’ve gotten better at walking away and coming back to a task with a clear head and then completing but it can still be really hard to do. Here are the reasons for this:

1. My schedule may be really tight and it might not be possible to work on the project at another time.
2. I told the client that it would be completed today.
3. I might wake up super sick tomorrow. Unlikely but I do find when I put something off until later, that something unexpected like food poisoning gets in the way.
4. I am a little (a lot) obsessed with schedules. If I plan to work on something between 2pm – 3pm then I get flustered and lost focus if this doesn’t happen and find it difficult to move on to something else.

As I’ve aged, I’ve found that things out of control happen all of the time and that I am not always 100% focused when it’s necessary. So, it’s important to be more flexible. I might feel like I’m not accomplishing anything if I walk away from something that isn’t working properly but by doing so it gets resolved quickly later on and I ultimately end up saving time. In the past I would have kept working and working to find a solution and usually only ended up feeling frustrated and that wasn’t very good at my chosen profession.

It’s important to take a break, think about something else for awhile and then come back to what you were trying to accomplish. The solution almost always comes immediately when I do this.

How about you? Do you find this works? Are you able to walk away? Or are you doggedly persistent? I used to be and found that I only ended up feeling frustrated and wasting time.

photo credit: markgoodwin

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

Sometimes You Have to Walk Away and Come Back Later

While freelancing and working from home gives me more flexibility with my schedule, it still takes quite a bit of organization and discipline to do everything I need to do each day. Being a divorced single parent makes it a little harder than if I had someone else here to help but I am also cynical enough to think that the 2nd “helper” would cause a different set of problems for me. ;-)

While some days are a little different because my daughter might have been at her Dad’s the night before so I don’t need to take her to school in the morning or she might have an art class in the afternoon, which gives me a longer work day, this is what a typical weekday is like in my house.

5:45am – 6:30am – I have my alarm set for 6:20am. I usually wake up before it goes off, especially this time of year when it’s already so bright outside.

6:30am – 7:00am – Make and drink coffee (#1 priority) and check email. I don’t usually answer emails but I organize it – delete things I don’t need, file to do’s for later, see what has come in that might change my schedule for the day. Sometimes I answer blog comments at this time. And since I got a smartphone sometimes I organize my email via the phone while drinking coffee in the kitchen rather than doing it at the computer.

7:00am – 8:00am – Wake up the kid, make school lunch, make breakfast, nag kid to get up and get ready, make beds, various chores, get dressed. The kid doesn’t need a full hour to get ready to go but I start trying to wake her up at 7am because sometimes it’s really hard to get her up. On other days she wakes up super early and starts chatting with me before I’ve had enough coffee ;-)

8:00am – 9:00am – Walk the kid to school. Sometimes I drop her off at a friend’s house and they take her with their kids and sometimes I walk those same kids to school. So, depending on the day I am either home at 8:20 or 8:45. And we walk no matter what the weather. Well, our friends have a car so once in a great while he will drive them if there is a big thunderstorm or something. When I walk the entire way I usually stop at a cafe near school on the way home and chat with the woman who works there.

9:00am – 12:00pm – Work. I try to do the hardest task first. This isn’t necessarily the one that will take the longest but the one that will take the most thought. As you can probably tell by this schedule so far, I am definitely a morning person. So, I try to do the most difficult work when my brain is working properly ;-) I try not to schedule calls during this time and I don’t check email too frequently unless I’m not that busy. I don’t answer unscheduled calls either. When I am really focused, which is 3 or 4 of the 5 workdays, I get A LOT done in 3 hours.

12:00pm – 1:00pm – Eat something. I usually eat at my desk. I know it’s a bad habit but since I usually have 6-7 solid work hours per day I need this time. Check emails. Check Facebook and Twitter. Some days I use social media earlier in the day – it depends on how busy I am and if I have anything interesting to post or say. This is also the time of day where I will test new WP plugins or other code, take screenshots and notes and read other informative articles. I guess it’s the eat, email, research hour.

1:00pm – 2:00pm – More work. This is when I will do things that take less thought – things I can do in my sleep like backing up a site, upgrades, fixing CSS issues. If I have paperwork, such as proposals, contracts to sign, etc. I will also work on those during this time.

2:00 – 3:00 – By this point in the day no brilliant thoughts, code or solutions are going to come out of me. It’s the time by body usually wants to nap but I don’t. I will continue working on the same types of tasks I did the previous hour. If I have a post to write, like this one, I will often work on it at this time. That doesn’t mean that I’m such a great writer that I can write when I’m pooped but I usually have it planned out from the research I’ve done and it’s just a matter of putting it together.

3:00pm – 4:00pm – Walk to school, pick up the kid, and run errands. This can be going to the park, the library or the co-op. It depends on the day and on the weather. On days my kid has an art class or is going to her Dad’s house I usually stop working at 3:00pm unless I am super busy or have something I have to get done. I used to always work til 5 or 5:30 but I learned that’s it just not productive time because my brain stops working well around 2pm. I’m better off running errands, doing chores, going to appointments, or doing nothing. Also, now that is getting warmer it’s usually pretty hot in the house by this time of the day and I am always try to not use air conditioning.

4:00pm – 5:00pm – This is when the kid does most of her homework. I check emails again and do any tasks that either won’t take too long or can handle interruptions. I’ve repeatedly asked the kid that if she gets stuck on something to move on to the next problem and then we will check it together later. But, I can’t seem to train her to do this – she has a hard time leaving it and moving on to the next problem. I get it. I can be stubborn that way too even though I do know that walking away for a bit can be the best way to solve one of these issues.

5:00pm – 8:00pm – Family / chore time. Dinner, more homework, cleaning up the kitchen, laundry, baths, hanging out together, playing cards, etc. Around 7:30pm the kid usually calls her Dad and then I read aloud to her for 30 minutes or so. Currently we are reading The Golden Compass, which has been a little slow going. The kid also gets annoyed when the book differs from the movie even though I keep insisting that the book came first and they are always going to change or leave things out in a two hour film.

8:00pm – 11:00pm – The kid goes to bed between 8 – 8:30. She usually reads in bed for 30 minutes or so before she goes to sleep. Some think her bedtime is early but she is usually exhausted and she’s a sleeper – I think she is still making up for not sleeping at all the first year or so of her life. Very very very rarely do I do any work at this point in the day. I will if I am unusually busy and want to clear some things off my to do list before the next day or if I am being paid extra for a rush job but this isn’t the norm. I’m just too tired by this point in the day to get much done. I can get more done for three hours in the morning than I can for 7 hours after 2pm. Sometimes I play a video game or watch a movie but I usually read until I fall asleep, which tends to be between 10-11pm.

Rinse and repeat. Of course, there are some variations to this. For example, on Friday nights there isn’t homework so that is movie night and when the weather is super nice we will go to the park for longer after school. And this schedule is different in the summer because the kid is home more (and that’s a whole separate issue in trying to get work done).

I have to be really organized to manage this schedule but it’s working out really well. I manage to get a lot of work done in as little time as possible and I have plenty of time to spend with my daughter.

How about you? Is your schedule anything like mine?

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

A Day in the Life of a Freelancing Single Mom

Two years ago today I started freelancing full time!

I can’t believe it has already been two years – it seems like I just left my job and took this chance. Time really does go by faster the older you get.

The first year was a little rough and I relied on my savings more than I wanted to. But the 2nd year has been much better – I haven’t touched my savings and have actually added to it, each month is a little more profitable, I’ve worked with some amazing people, and I’ve learned a lot of lessons.

To celebrate I’m offering 15% custom Facebook pages for the entire month of May. Custom pages start at $195 so you can get yours for almost $30 off!

Examples of pages I’ve done are available here.

Things to keep in mind:

1. Most pages cost $195 but if the design are requested features are more complicated the price will be higher.
2. Custom pages are usually completed one week after the deposit and other requested materials are received. Due to this special, the work may take longer to complete and I will let you know the time estimate.
3. I reserve the right to turn down any project.
4. Extra features requested after the cost estimate has been completed will be added to the final cost of the project.

On a side note it’s also almost the three year anniversary of this site.

Thank you for your ongoing support.

photo credit: alibree

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

2nd Anniversary Freelancing: 15% Custom Facebook Pages for Month of May

I am often asked how I manage working from home. People tell me that they aren’t disciplined enough to do it and that they would goof off all day.

There is no magical solution as to whether you have the discipline or not.

And how I deal with this issue is really quite simple.

If I don’t find the discipline to work and I goof off, I will eventually run out of money and my daughter and I won’t have a place to live or food to eat.

I do have some money saved so we could go for awhile without me doing any work but it would eventually run out. Not wanting to be hungry is very motivating.

That being said, I think I was born disciplined. I was one of those people who would have my school papers done before the due date and only in rare cases miss deadlines. So, that probably helps.

But, discipline isn’t magic and needing to support yourself and your family is enough for me to get my work done.

How about you? Do you have discipline? What do you do when you don’t feel like working?

photo credit: grotuk

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

How to Be Disciplined When You Work from Home

Email may be an efficient method of communication but it is frequently not the most effective.

Because email lacks tone and nuance it is very easy to misinterpret the mood of the individual on the other end. For example, I am frequently trying to get through my emails quickly so they are terse – short and to the point. I’ve had people ask me to be more patient or they think I’m in a bad mood. And that it isn’t the case at all – I’m just trying to answer emails and move on to the next task.

I haven’t figured out a way to seem less impatient or grumpy in my email other than using exclamation points – “thanks!”. Perhaps if I express excitement than I won’t be perceived as out of sorts.

There are, however, words or phrases that will set me on edge when they are in the emails that I receive.

1. Quick Question – this is often used as the subject line and in the body of the email. It’s never quick. And somehow the word quick implies that I will be able to answer it immediately.
2. Easy – this is usually a question like “Is it easy to edit my style sheet?” or “Is brain surgery easy?” ;-) Well, I think editing a style sheet is easy because I have a lot of experience doing that. But, that doesn’t mean someone else will think it’s easy. You might think knitting is easy and I’ve never been able to figure it out. Whether something is easy is based on experience and I really can’t answer that for you.
3. Hard – “How hard would it be to …?” This is like easy. It will probably be harder than answering the email but not as hard as quantum physics. Again, this is based on experience and interests.
4. ASAP – I know this is often used as a way of saying “as soon as you can get to it” but it bothers me. It implies that what you need is way more important than what I am currently working on.
5. Simple – When someone tells me that what they need done is “simple”, it implies that my skills are lacking and that it shouldn’t cost very much. Really, if it’s so simple, why don’t you just take care of it yourself?

The other thing I don’t like about email is that sarcasm is completely lost. Since I am a sarcastic person, my “jokes” often fall completely flat in my emails.

In the mid 1990′s when I first started using email I thought it was so exciting and loved getting them. Now, not so much and I kinda yearn for an actual letter. ;-)

What words or phrases do you dislike reading in your email?

photo credit: ktommy

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

5 Words or Phrases I Don’t Want to See in my Email

Last week is the first time I’ve had to deal with sick days since I started freelancing full time almost two years ago (I can’t believe it’s been almost two years …)

I’ve had a couple of days here and there where I didn’t feel great or was overtired or my daughter was home sick from school but overall I’ve been mostly healthy and haven’t needed to take almost an entire week off from work.

It was hard but here’s how I handled it.

Fortunately, I was on top of my projects and didn’t have any looking deadlines. A couple of smaller things were due but it wasn’t as hard to postpone them.

The Tips

1. Don’t procrastinate – I’ve never been much of a procrastinator (except for doing my taxes this year) so this isn’t usually an issue. I always say, “don’t put off until tomorrow that which you can do today because tomorrow you might feel like crap”. If you have been procrastinating on a project, the deadline is approaching and then you get sick, you are going to run into problems with the clients understanding. So, try to stay on top of things when you do feel well.
2. Notify clients as soon as possible – I have a number of clients that I work with on a weekly basis. As soon as I realized how bad my tooth infection was and that I wasn’t able to work, I sent an email letting them know about the situation. They were all really understanding. The one mistake I made was thinking I would be all better as soon as I started taking the antibiotics. I thought I would be back to work in 2 days and I ended up needing the entire week. Even now, 10 days later, I am still run down and don’t have the energy level that I had before all of this started.
3. Notify clients of current projects that are close to being due – I had two Facebook pages that were due a day or two after I got sick. Fortunately, my policy is that a “page will be completed within one week after the deposit and all materials are received unless there are unforeseen circumstances that I will notify you of as soon as possible.” This is the first time I had to utilize an unforeseen circumstance for work being delayed but I’m glad I always include that message.
4. Get help at home – I’m divorced and have an 8 year old. As soon as I started feeling ill I called my ex, told him about the situation, and asked if he could help. He took our daughter for the first two nights, which were the worst of it, and even arranged to leave work early one day because we didn’t have after school care that day. Like any ex, he drives me nuts sometimes, but I’m fortunate in that when I really need help, I can rely on him.
5. Ask your kids for help – On my daughter’s first day back, I still wasn’t feeling well and I hadn’t really slept in a couple of days so I was slightly out of my mind. She realized that I needed her and totally stepped up. She made her own dinner (microwave Mac&Cheese – but she did it), did all the dishes, took a bath without being nagged, waited on me, and tucked me in before putting herself to bed. She’s close to 9 but I was still impressed. I’m pretty sure, however, that she was still wishing she were at her Dad’s house. ;-) I remember being very disconcerted when my Mom was sick when I was a kid – it scared me because we rely on our parents for strength so I’m sure it scared her a little.
6. Save for it - Freelancers need to set aside a portion of their income for sick time so they don’t feel like they have to work because they can’t lose the money. I don’t specifically save for it but I have x number of months of income saved so if I miss a week I don’t feel like everything is going to fall apart.
7. Rest – Prior to the tooth infection I was working really long days – 12+ hours. I’m sure the infection happening after that was a coincidence but it was a reminder to slow down a little and to take better care of myself.

Everyone I work with was kind, understanding and supportive. I think most people would be because we all get sick at some point and I’m reliable the rest of the time – I meet my deadlines and don’t have excuses for being late with my work all of the time. If someone hadn’t been understanding, I think it would have told me to finish up the current work with that individual and then sever out professional relationship.

How about you? Do you have any sick time tips? How do you handle it?

photo credit: WindRanch

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

7 Tips for Handling Sick Days as a Freelancer

My friend, Dawn Bugni, posted a link to this awesome slideshare presentation by Sheila Scarborough. I enjoyed it so much that I decided it was worth reposting here.

The presentation discusses people who want to take you out for coffee and “pick your brain” and how to handle that type of situation. Of course, “pick you brain” means get as much unpaid information out of you as possible.

I haven’t actually had someone use that phrase with me but I’ve had quite a few tell me that they have a “limited budget”.

The presentation also contains valuable information on how to turn the brain picker into a paying client.

I hope you found this useful. Do you agree with it? Is there anything you disagree with?

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

Freelancing: What to Do When Someone Wants to Pick Your Brain

One of my least favorite things about freelancing is not always having a steady stream of work. I am usually busy enough but sometimes if it gets quiet I start to worry if things will stay that way or if it’s just a lull. I’ve found that it always picks up whether I worry about it or not so it’s best to try not to worry. ;-)

I have, however, come across an excellent why to find more work when things are slow.

Ask for it

That’s right. When work is slow and not a lot of business is coming in, ask your best clients for work.

Well, maybe not directly but I will send out an email asking them if everything is working properly on their site and if there are any issues that need to be fixed. I will mention that I have some free blocks in my schedule and can do the work for them immediately.

And about 65% of the clients I contact have work for me. Usually they have been thinking about a project but haven’t gotten around to contacting me or they are worried that I’m too busy to work on it. They are generally glad that I contacted them first.

When I complete a project and the client is happy, I always send a follow-up email letting them know that I enjoyed working with them and please keep me in mind for future projects. I also mention to feel free to refer me any of their friends or colleagues. Frequently, this one email at the end of the project brings in another project.

So, don’t always wait for the work to come to you. If your work schedule isn’t filling up, make some calls and send some emails asking for work and chances are soon you will be super busy again.

If you freelance, what do you do when business is slow?

photo credit: WindRanch

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

How to Find Freelancing Work When Things Are Slow

Last week I wrote a rant called, How Not to Ask for WordPress and Facebook Help, which was about people placing unrealistic expectations on people when asking for free help.

I received great feedback from the article in the comments, through Twitter and on Facebook. Learning that others agreed with me and have gone through the same thing increased my confidence and helped me be more assertive.

And it’s good thing that there was a positive outcome. Because the week following the posting of that article brought some of the worst past clients out of the woodwork and some really bizarre requests. I even checked to see if was a full moon ;-) But I was able to be more assertive with the inquiries and cut through the bullshit. The downside of this is that it, in addition to all the regular work I was doing, exhausted me and by Friday I could barely stand looking at the computer and reading emails. I stayed away from the computer most of the weekend, however, and felt refreshed when I started work on Monday morning.

I find it difficult to be assertive, especially online. In real life, face to face encounters I’m good at standing up for myself but for some reason I find it harder through email. I’m not sure why that is. But there is something about online requests that makes me much less assertive than I am in real life.

I think there are three main reasons for this

1. My office jobs trained me to respond to unreasonable demands immediately ;-) And I haven’t fully relearned that this is now my own email and if I really really want to, I can just delete it.
2. I want people to hire me. So, the faster I respond and the more flexible I am the more likely this will happen. Of course, that isn’t true. It can help but usually the people who make unreasonable demands from the beginning are the ones that are going to be difficult to work with always.
3. I am female. This doesn’t necessarily make me less assertive but I think that, overall, women still struggle with this issue. It’s very hard for a woman to be assertive and to not be labeled a bitch. It happens all the time. And being a woman in a slightly technical field comes with a host of issues. Most of my clients are women. And I think one of the main reason is because most men still aren’t comfortable with women knowing more about tech than they do. I say most.

What followed the rant

So, I posted the rant, got great feedback and felt confident and assertive. Good thing because here’s a handful of the emails I ended up dealing with. And why did they all appear in the same week?

1. Request for Facebook consulting – This is fine. The name, however, seemed familiar and the person had a small unpaid invoice from last October. I had written off ever being paid so at first I was going to ignore the request. Instead, I sent an email saying that I would be happy to schedule a time to speak but that there was an unpaid consulting invoice that needed to be paid first. (Supposedly, it’s now going to be paid but I haven’t seen that happen yet).
2. WordPress Assistance - Again, not an unusual request. But this was from a very difficult person that I was hoping I’d heard the last from. I was tempted to ignore it but instead replied saying, this is how much it will cost and I will require a deposit up front. I didn’t say why but I knew from past experience it was best to handle it that way. I haven’t heard back ;-)
3. Finder’s Fee?? – This was my favorite. And when I think I’ve heard it all … I was sent an email about RSS feeds and code for them. The request was too complicated for a quick email answer so I sent my rate and other information. A couple of days later I received a reponse asking if I had an affiliate program for people she referred to me. Huh? I’m one person – either refer them or don’t but I’m not going to pay you to do that. I’m not Amazon, Hostgator, or even Studiopress. Give me a break! ;-)

I’m slowly learning how to be more assertive and to write sensible and matter of fact responses rather than getting pissed or feeling guilty. And I’m working on getting away from old work habits learned in office jobs. The supportive comments from my rant really helped. It’s funny and ironic that such odd requests came the same week. It was almost like I was being tested. ;-)

Do you, especially if you a woman, find it difficult to be assertive? How do you stand up for yourself?

photo credit: *katz

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

Learning to be More Assertive with Clients

I get A LOT of requests for assistance. While I prefer that people ask for help with a topic in an article I’ve already written and leave a comment, I am not adverse to people emailing me or filling out the contact form. Calling for free help, however, is pushing it.

Some say that I shouldn’t offer any free assistance but I disagree. People have answered my questions and helped me out, especially Jeff Starr and Stratos. When I first contacted Jeff Starr, however, it was about an article he had written – I didn’t just ask him random questions and expect him to answer. I was also very grateful and thanked him repeatedly. And Stratos helps me out quite a bit and, although he doesn’t want me to, I frequently pay him. And someone that you answer a quick question for might become a paying customer.

But, here’s the deal. There needs to be limits, respect and patience. And here’s an example of what not to do.

Questions and email requests for free assistance are not my top priority. Surprisingly, I need to do the work that I’m getting paid for first. Shocking, huh? I need to earn a living and I have client deadlines that I need to meet. But, I do attempt to answer every email even if it’s to say, “I’m sorry but that is complicated request. You can hire me blah, blah, blah.” I gather the emails and block out a time to reply. And this isn’t every day but I don’t think I’ve let more than three business days go by without replying. And, you know, considering I’m actually working here and I’m a single parent, that’s pretty damn good.

What Not to Do

Here’s an example of a help request that I received recently.

1. Around noon I received an email asking a question about Facebook. I glanced at it quickly, saw that it wasn’t something that could be done on Facebook, and decided to answer it later.
2. Less than two hours later, I received an voice mail from the individual that sent the email. Apparently, requests for free assistance should be answered in less than two hours …? I screen most of my calls. I answer calls from current clients and calls that have been scheduled. But when I’m working with code I can’t break stride and start talking on the phone. And there are a lot of people who will stay on the phone way too long – I don’t have time for that.
3. I couldn’t believe this individual had called. I can see calling if days had gone by without an answer but if I had sent an email to someone asking for assistance and didn’t receive a response, I would assume the person was too busy and I highly doubt that I would have called. Also, this question was about Facebook. I have numerous Facebook articles and the question could have been left in the comments – I answer the comments EVERY DAY except not always on the weekend. I also have a Facebook fan page, which is a great place to ask questions. One reason is that if I’m not available there is a really good chance that another member of the community will answer the question – it happens all the time!
4. So, I was super annoyed and decided I needed to get rid of this person. I sent back an email saying that what she needed wasn’t possible on Facebook. I also politely mentioned that I was very busy with my clients and normally couldn’t reply to requests that quickly.
5. She immediately replied back and thanked me (you wouldn’t believe how many people don’t say thanks when you take the time to answer their questions) and then asked if I could refer her to a “Facebook expert” since I was unable to answer the question.
6. At this point I was beyond annoyed – I was pissed and I should have just ignored the email but I wrote back and said, “Unfortunately, I am not a referral service for Facebook experts. If there is something that you would like done and it’s possible to do it on Facebook, feel free to inquire about my consulting services. My rate is $50/hr.”
7. And guess what? I haven’t heard back ;-)

My Own Fault

This is just one example. Part of this is my own fault. I try to be kind and helpful and I understand what it’s like to be stuck and need assistance. The difference, however, is I’m not pushy about it and am never insulting. I have also not taken the time to write up an FAQ and policy. After I finish this article, that will be next on my to-do list. I don’t have high hopes that it will be read but I can send the link to people instead of fussing with them. It will tell how to ask for help and deal with off topic questions in the article comments (they won’t be answered anymore).

Of course, I have regular clients who ask me questions all the time. But they don’t harass me and they PAY me. So there’s a difference and I answer them as fast as I can.

And if someone takes the time to answer a question, write back and THANK them. It makes a really big difference.

I linked to this article in Sunday’s (Anti) Social Lists but decided to include it here as well. It is about the 3 types of people who will work for you for free.

photo credit: D3 San Francisco

Post from: (Anti) Social Development

How to Not Ask For WordPress or Facebook Help